Me

Worried...

2006-08-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

Talking to my mom never makes me feel good. She often complains that I never tell her anything. Funny thing is whenever I do she always makes me feel worse. I told her that today and she apologized for that. Well hopefully something good comes out of this.
This week has been hell. My car 'broke' down. My whole exhaust system ripped off (my stupid mistake) and then my bumper fell off (same stupid mistake). So the whole thing is going to cost me about $2000. Sigh. Easy come easy go. I don't really make a lot of money as well. God have mercy. I feel like a total wreck right now. So far from God. I pray but it doesn't feel like its helping. Sometimes I am comforted and sometimes I am not. Money seems to be like an issue with me constantly. I need to budget more wisely. I need to save money.
God help me with my finances. In general I need help with my life. It seems like its spinning out of control. Again Holy Spirit guide my footsteps to where you want me to go. I need to take life more seriously.
If you read this pray for me.
Thanks.

2006-08-01T07:33:00.000-07:00

"I'm the arrow, you're my bow, shoot me forth and I will go..." Matisyahu

Word...

Which Super Hero Are You?

2006-07-25T08:42:00.000-07:00

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		80%
Robin		68%
Spider-Man		65%
The Flash		65%
Hulk		60%
Supergirl		56%
Green Lantern		50%
Wonder Woman		46%
Batman		45%
Iron Man		45%
Catwoman		25%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Find Your Star Wars Twin

2006-06-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

Crap...
Click to see my Star Wars Personality!!

A purging...

2006-06-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've posted something serious here. Last time I did I got BURNED...badly.
Well anyways, Church is my life and over the past few years there have been a lot of people leaving. It seems like there is a constant stream of people leaving. It is very taxing because it means that people who really care for this church have to step it up big time. The thing is I don't know who will step up. Right now all I can see is myself doing a lot of work.
A lot of people are leaving our church. It really saddens me. But I guess life must go on and I must let go - let go of the questions, let go of the bad feelings, let go of the hurt. It's been hard. Somedays I feel like quitting. But that would be the easy way out. I'm no quitter. I sincerely believe that this community is worth fighting for. The youth that are here and are coming up to EM WILL make a difference. I really hope so. I believe so.

Truth?

2006-06-19T16:59:00.000-07:00

Haha!!! "Borrowed" this from another guy's site...

Girls are like apples
on trees. The best ones are at the top
of the tree. The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they are afraid of
falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just
get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't
as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in reality,
they're amazing. They just have to wait for
the right man to come along, the one
who's brave enough
to climb
all the
way to
the top
of the
tree.

Translation: Some girls are stuck up.

Stuck way up in a tree. What are you doing in a tree? The reason why you can't find a guy is because you're in a tree. Come down to the ground where guys find girls in the real world.

There are plenty of monkeys that climb the tree and these girls reject them because they're not "cute" enough, didn't go to the right "school", don't have the right "job", and most of all, they're too "nice."

Guys are like monkeys. The nice ones are like Curious George and they climb the trees only to get rejected by all the apples stuck up in the tree. But the smart ones are like King Kong and they shake the ish out of the tree and all the apples fall to the ground for the pickin. After they fall to the ground, the apples yell, "choose me! choose me!" But King Kong just shook the tree for fun. What a jerk. But this makes the apples like him more.

Curious George becomes heeby jeeby. King Kong stomps on the apples and goes after Jane on top of The Empire State Building. And there are plenty of lonely apples.

Thus, the birth of Online Dating Services.

Is this why I am not married yet?

Whar Color Should Your Eyes Be?

2006-06-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom

What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0

2006-03-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

You scored as Maximus. After his family was murdered by the evil emperor Commodus, the great Roman general Maximus went into hiding to avoid Commodus's assassins. He became a gladiator, hoping to dominate the colosseum in order to one day get the chance of killing Commodus. Maximus is valiant, courageous, and dedicated. He wants nothing more than the chance to avenge his family, but his temper often gets the better of him.

Maximus

79%

Captain Jack Sparrow

67%

Indiana Jones

63%

Neo, the "One"

54%

Batman, the Dark Knight

54%

The Terminator

50%

El Zorro

50%

Lara Croft

46%

William Wallace

42%

The Amazing Spider-Man

42%

James Bond, Agent 007

42%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

Mozilla Firefox Start Page

2006-02-28T03:36:00.000-08:00

"I choose to be joy."

Which Superhero are you? Results

2006-02-07T07:07:00.000-08:00

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		90%
The Flash		75%
Spider-Man		65%
Supergirl		60%
Hulk		60%
Robin		57%
Green Lantern		55%
Batman		55%
Wonder Woman		50%
Catwoman		35%
Iron Man		30%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

A fresh new start

2006-02-04T21:05:00.000-08:00

I erased my old blog for personal reasons. Sorry. There are things that happened in the past few days that made me so frustrated and angry that I thought it was for the best.
Today I don't feel any different. I feel like...crap. I feel like the whole world has gone and left me. I feel like no one cares. I feel like dying and leaving this dunghole of a world. Right now I have a bigger desire to die than to live.
No. I am not suicidal or anything like that. I am not going to jump off any bridge or jump in front of a speeding car or jump the track on the subway. I believe that suicide is a selfish act.
I just feel like dying. Maybe its because I feel so dead inside right now. I have never been raped or anything like that. I don't want to belittle it. But I remember a line from a movie it went something like, "What's worse than rape? Betrayal." That's exactly how I feel.
I don't want to be at church anymore. People there are cold and selfish. Everything I do there is misconstrued. There are some who are treasures though. Some who make life worth living. Thank you.
But on the whole most people are self serving people who only think of themselves. I guess I am tired of serving. God I need your strength. I know I shouldn't feel this way. But that's how I honestly feel inside.
People have been hurtful in their unjustified criticism of me. That hurt is deep inside and the scars that cover the wounds are deep. The pain, it seems, never goes away. No matter how much good I do I will always be questioned. No matter how much I care it will always be questioned. No matter how I love people it will always be questioned.
This should not be. Either change the person I am or change the church. Hmmm. Seems like I already answered my question.
I came to a conclusion this week. Non-Christians are better people than Christians. Weird huh? Someone asked me this week who are the people I trusted the most. I said that it wasn't anyone at church. In fact the people who I trusted the most were non-christians. I found them to be more real, honest and trustworthy than people at church, bar a few exceptions. Interesting.
Geez. I wrote a lot didn't I?